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August 2012

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Myself

I wake up to an empty bed
On the same mornings
I thought I should be used to this
But why does it still hurt?

I look up to the snowing sky
On the same Christmases
I thought I should know this by now
But why do I still cry?

“I’m fine,
I’m really fine
By myself
Myself…”

The hand that yearns to be held
The lips that yearn to be kissed
The heart that yearns to be loved
I wonder how long would it be
Before the desires stop
And the acceptance starts

I sit with the empty table
On the same evenings
“One person’s share of food will do”
But why do I still laugh?

I watch the latest movies alone
At the same cinema
“Such a life is fitting for me, right?”
But why do I still wait?

“It’s fine,
It’s really fine
I’m used to
Myself…”

My hand that yearns to be held
My lips that yearn to be kissed
My heart that yearns to be loved
I wonder what I have to do
Before they finally know
It’s hopeless, waiting

You
Do you see me?
Desperately wishing for someone to find me?
You
Do you get it?
Are you still finding for someone, like me too?

The hand that yearns to be held
The lips that yearn to be kissed
The heart that yearns to be loved
I wonder how long would it be
Before the desires stop
And the acceptance starts

My hand that yearns to be held
My lips that yearn to be kissed
My heart that yearns to be loved
I wonder what I have to do
Before they finally know
It’s hopeless, waiting

“I’m fine,
I’m really fine
By myself
Myself…”

---

Wrote this while thinking how it'd be like if I were like I am now when I'm 35. It feels reli real, so I doubt I'm worrying too much.

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