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August 2012

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Love song

I was having dinner at Ikea today & while walking around the furniture section, I saw a gay couple.

Never mind about their bodies or faces, what I saw was a couple in love, picking plushies for their Christmas party (I think).

1 of them was busy picking while the other was looking around. Suddenly this toddler came running towards them, & the guy who was doing nothing noticed the toddler& smiled to him in the sweetest way ever.

As I walked away, looking back at them, I just realized something; a truth I should've fathomed a long time ago.

I am going to be single & alone forever, for the rest of my life.

They tell me, "You're just 18, wait a while more, & you will find someone who loves you."

The thing is, how long do I have to wait? A year? Ten years? Until I'm 35? Forever?

Laughing so heartily at everything I see & hear, that's the me you know, right? But when everyone leaves & all that's left is myself, I only remember how lonely I am.

The saddest thing is to feel great joy but have no one to share it with.

No one is obliged to make me feel happy, & I know there's no one in this world but me who can make me feel happy, but wouldn't it be nice if I know what love is, even if it's once in my life?

But deep down in my heart, I just know it, that love doesn't last. Or maybe love never existed.

Don't tell me to wait again, because I know that even waiting isn't going to make miracles happen.

So I walk alone down this road, & I should've known, to be contented with loneliness.

Good-bye happiness.

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